Karen Kalisek's Top 20 Things To Help (1-5)
What should or could you do to help your friends and neighbors going through difficult financial hardships?
1.Don’t lecture them, find fault, or try to place blame. It doesn’t matter HOW they got there. They are there. They already feel like failures and are depressed beyond words.
2.Don’t ask them how you can help or what they need. They won’t tell you because they are embarrassed. To some degree, they may feel they deserve what they are experiencing because of decisions they have made. LISTEN to them. They will tell you their needs, wants, and hurts. Find one thing that can make a difference for them and JUST DO IT.
3.Understand that emotion runs extremely high in situations like this. Offer to take the kids for an afternoon or over night. Allow couples time to cry and mourn their losses. They don’t need such raw emotion displayed to their children. They need to reassure the children all is well even though their world is falling apart.
4.Churches, professionals, etc. can offer counseling to individuals going through the stress of loss. Realize this is like a death. Their dream has died.
5.When a spouse tries to blame the other, let them vent. Remind them of why they fell in love. Tell them if they can come through this as a team, they will be showing strength to their children and will know they can get through anything as long as they are together. Remind them to consider as bad as things are, how would they like to be going through this alone? DO NOT TAKE SIDES. ( Also note that tempers flare, consumption of alcohol and drugs rises, and violence in the home increases during stressful times. If you see any of these symptoms, offer assistance in seeking help or notify the authorities on their behalf. A bad situation has the capacity to get a lot worse! Safety is very important.)
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